Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much

I started writing a blog post congratulating myself on my one year anniversary in London. I wrote in huge detail all the main life lessons I had encountered; what I had learned most about myself and above all – I wrote about all the amazing individuals I have met along the way.

It has gone so quickly, and I have been blessed in so many respects, it’s hard not to pinch myself. I sometimes feel that I have been living in a dream-like trance with the good fortune I have experienced and the various people who have enriched my life greatly.

Before a final read through of this draft, I had, (as I call it) ‘after school’ sport which always happens on a Wednesday eve after work at Sport England.

I am part of a mixed team called the Hungry Hippos, and we tend to play different sports each season. I joined this past season to partake in Ultimate Frisbee. This ideally filled my longing to be back in a team sport environment and the challenge of playing a new (and different) sport.

I have not played mixed sport for years, (I blame going to a single sex school accompanied with lack of confidence that boys wouldn’t pass to me), but was reassured over and over again that the Hippos weren’t like that and it was more about being part of a team both on and off the field.

The Hippos are a great team. Within the first few weeks of playing with this fantastic bunch, not only had my forehand throw and catching vastly improved, I found myself getting to know so much about these people and felt an instant bond with my fellow team mates.

I worked with most of them, but I was astounded about how much more I was learning about them as individuals and how much I was enjoying being part of something again. Even the train ride to Wednesday night games was filled with many stories, much laughter and a good game plan. The amount of support and teaching which has been given to me has been out of this world.

Being ranked fourth, and having to play the top team in our semi-finals, we thought we were goners. Particularly, after the first half where we were being beaten by a good four points! However, together with our hype crew on the side, belief in our ability to turn this around and the cohesive feel within our team – we ended up winning and getting through to the final winning 13-12. Although we didn’t win the final, we still managed to make it – and that in itself made us so delighted that our post-match drink tasted even better than usual.

We ended up at our local watering hole that evening expecting a few drinks, a few high-fives and a few laughs. Although we managed to ‘cheers’ to a wonderful season and to a new season ahead, we also had to farewell our fellow co-worker, Hippo-member and friend – Dan.

Daniel passed away suddenly that evening at the pub. Such an energetic, sports-loving and fit guy - who was just 40. He only felt a slight pain in his chest, and then excused himself to go to the bathroom. The next time we saw him he was being taken in an ambulance to the hospital. There was nothing the doctors could do, nor anything any of the Hippos could have done to have prevented it.

Over the past few weeks, there has been a lot of reflection, tears, laughter and sadness. It has not only affected the people who were there that eve, but the entire workplace, his friends, and his beloved family.

I have been fortunate enough to meet with Daniel’s family over the past two weeks who have come over from Australia. The amount of love, gratitude and grace they have displayed in this time of grief and loss has been simply amazing. You could tell in an instant that Dan’s family were his ‘own team’ and the closeness and bond between them is indescribable.  

Understandably, there have been many tears; but this has also been echoed with laughter and amazing story telling. What I have further learned about Dan – was what I already knew: he was an immensely talented, driven and kind hearted individual.

My experiences with Dan (both in the workplace and on the field) have been that he went the extra mile in whatever he did. He understood the real meaning of being in a team and what partaking in one truly meant.

I have always looked up to my parents and have been inspired with how they constantly keep their marriage rock solid – they are each other’s best friend. I view them as role models for the kind of marriage I hope to have one day.  My Mum has always always instilled the same model of thinking in me – the importance of ‘being in the same team’ and being on the same page – that is how you create this kind of success. The interesting part of these teachings is that I haven’t really understood both the incredible benefits and importance of being in a team until I got involved with my fellow Hippos.

Dan constantly feed me encouragement and good constructive criticism during both our practices and matches. He never gave up on me and always ALWAYS encouraged me to be the best version of myself on the field. I can see now, this is something I will take with me across all areas of my life. He was so committed not just to his fellow Hippos, but to his job, his relationships and his family.

Whilst there is a gap now in a lot of people’s lives, I know that with each new sport I play, each new role I undertake at work, and in my relationships, I have now adopted what I call ‘team Dan mentality’. Being in a team has the potential to foster a fulfilling and meaningful way of working together – in reality, you are all working towards some sort of common goal.

Strangely enough, I read a quote yesterday from Vince Lombardi, which is quite fitting for this piece:

"Individual commitment to a group effort? that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilisation work."

Thank you Dan for letting me in your team and teaching me the true meaning of being part of one x.

The Hippos - after reaching the finals; July 2012.