We are constantly taught to be logical and use our heads. The problem here is when we only use our head our experience of both ourselves and others is restricted. We fail to let our heart and soul have ‘air time’; we become almost robotic with our actions and we cut ourselves off from so many opportunities and experiences.
With everything, when you are doing the job you are meant to be doing, being with the person you are meant to be with and exposing yourself to the opportunities you are meant to be experiencing, it’s supposed to feel ‘just right’ isn’t it?
I was speaking to a close friend of mine this week who posed the question to me ‘Jane, how do I know if it is right?’ The answer is simple. It feels right. Our core - our heart and soul are our true navigators; they are our compasses which are there to guide us in the right direction.
Every right choice I have ever made has come from following my gut instinct (my internal compass). I would not be in London, meeting and experiencing so many people from different walks of life at all – if, close to a year ago – I listened to my head.
My head told me (I call this my internal chatterbox, filled with self-doubt who actually does not have my BEST interests at heart), I was a fool. A fool for leaving a well-paid legal job in a large firm, a great city filled with friends and my comfort zone, all to venture to the unknown – London. My chatterbox kept me up at night. ‘You won’t make it. You won’t get a job. You will be lonely. You are crazy moving over to the other side of the world. You have a student loan, you will be able to pay that back within a few more years at your current job, but you will only accumulate interest on top of it moving over there – stupid stilly girl.’ This chatterbox created such fear and became my internal gremlin.
Because I got myself into such a state, I figured I should see a life coach to help with my poor decision making. Lardy, (fantastical woman) told me to shut down that chatterbox. She also told me that FEAR actually stands for ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’. This is so true. Lardy taught me to channel my inner GPS system and to really listen to my gut.
Within a week after that appointment, the domino effect started: my one way ticket was booked. Two weeks later I gave notice at my firm. Finally, ten weeks later I was at the airport, comforting my teary parents and trying oh so hard to be brave, even though it felt like those ‘what the hell am I doing’ moments. I let my gut guide me and here I am.
Moving to London has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. Every wrong decision I have made is because I failed to listen to my inner compass.
Is it hard to channel your compass? How do you know when it is speaking to you? This too is simple. You will find that in the still of the night, when you are away from others, in your own space, sitting in silence – it will appear. It is through listening to this voice which will make you a successful person.
I have found that the more I listen to and trust my gut – my life has become much more meaningful. Having that fancy job, those beautiful clothes, going on lavish holidays does not inevitably make you a successful person. For me, being successful means living a life filled with meaning which brings to our life true richness.
One of the most important people in my life has taught me this. Their Grandfather taught them that even though he personally did not have a lot of money, he was still a very rich man. He lived his life being surrounded by people he loved, cherished and trusted, and that is what made him wealthy. His life had immense meaning x.
Trusting your compass isn’t just about enriching your personal relationships and making good decisions, it will also bode you well on the work front too. These days we don’t just get jobs based on strong academic credentials. I have found that although IQ is important, EQ (aka emotional intelligence) is just AS, (if not more so) important.
My beautiful Mum has always been a massive fan of this theory. Inner traits such as self-awareness, being people savvy, having kindness, wit, empathy and understanding are ALL inner qualities which serve great importance.
The majority of job interviews and amazing opportunities I have had have not come solely from my marks or degrees. It has been through sparking up a random conversation on a plane with a complete stranger through to helping a lady pick up her papers she dropped on the street… That is a new blog entry in itself.
I’m no Einstein, and a lot of you may know the wee story about when I was 3 and a half - I still didn’t talk. Although I was silent, I did seem to understand others and could follow instructions. As Mum tells the story, deep down (meaning her gut) she knew that I would be okay and that I was probably a late bloomer, but not something she should be deeply concerned about. However, all of her friends and family kept feeding her fears (the chatterbox) so poor Mum got so worried she paid a great deal of money to take me to a top specialist.
I was placed in a room with a jar of marbles. I was told that I needed to empty the jar as fast as I could. 95% of children would turn the jar upside down and empty it. I apparently spent the next 20 minutes picking each individual marble out of the jar until it was empty. The specialist (bless him) turned to my Mum and said ‘although you may not think this, and yes it seems odd, there is nothing wrong with her.’ Two days later I began speaking in sentences. Poor Mum, she listened to what everyone else was saying, even though deep down she knew I was okay.
As I have told you in previous posts, I am far from perfect and still muck up. I still (at times) listen to my head and disregard my inner compass. In fact, I listened to my head far too much this week. Consequently, I could have made a very bad decision had I continued to listen to my head over my internal navigation system.
The very moment where I realised I was disregarding my compass - I took a big step back and revaluated.
I didn’t beat myself up about the incident too much, as I needed it to happen. Why? Because it was acting as a refresher course for me… Lately, I have been listening to my head far too much and I needed a stern reminder that I need to trust my gut.
The lesson here is simple: Listening to your internal compass will save you. If it feels right - go for it. If it doesn’t – walk away.
Have a beautiful weekend,
Lots of love x x x
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