Tis better to be boxed up, than boxed in...

Happiness should not be reserved for those who are lucky, but rather it should be an inherent right; a personal choice; an emotion and feeling we should be able to obtain quickly and not feel like we have to wish for it.

I am far from perfect, and continuously find myself making mistakes. However, the learning curve appears whereby I don’t repeat the same mistake more than once. Even with my broken Crown Lynn edges - I am actually happy.

Of course there are times whereby I think if my hair was naturally blonde, I lost 8 kgs, I had more funds, I owned every Karen Walker dress under the sun, I would be oodles happier, but this is just peripheral, unimportant image-based ‘happiness’ that will never be truly meaningful and long-lasting. It’s fleeting.

At 28, I have analysed how then, did I master actually being happy? For someone who has always thought she was different from the normal person, I have felt somewhat astounded that I seem to have fallen upon such a feeling. I use to think I took to heart a lot more than others; I use to think I had lucked out on never being the conventionally pretty girl at high school with the uber-cool gang in tow and the gorgeous older guy picking her up after school.

I look at my life now, and all those things I have ever wanted I seem to have. I feel this deep sense of peace at night; and intense gratitude in the morning. Sometimes we get so caught up staring at that closed door, we never see the open window to our right. We train our minds to see and feel certain things, sometimes losing sight that we are powerful beyond belief – and that this power is in fact right within us. We just sometimes need a little perspective and a helping hand to unleash this.

Life isn’t like a box of chocolates; rather it is made up of a series of boxes. Through nurturing, adding value to and looking after each box evenly, we all can have this euphoric feeling of happiness.

Let me be more clear; my life is structured on 9 boxes:

If one box is given more time than the others, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it cannot be maintained in order to have a balanced good life. For example, (I made this mistake around 8 years ago), I fell in love and my relationship box became my whole world. I neglected friends, didn’t listen to my family’s concerns, nor did I give back, whereupon, beforehand I had been so proactive and passionate with people in my life.

I didn’t have my own individual love and space because I was basically living and pandering to this one other individual. When this box fell apart and was taken out of my life, I became so broken. Had I kept the other boxes filled, spent time with them, nurtured them – that dark period would have been completely different. To date, I have not repeated that behaviour again; experience really is the name you can give to your mistakes.

Over the years I have become much more open and self-aware. I have realised that the boxes don’t necessarily need me – but more so, I need them. My job in my ‘old life’ took priority ahead of everything. I did spend and put a lot of effort into my friends and family (although this was always rushed and I was constantly late). It was really only these three boxes I invested in. I would not let myself commit to people as I felt I would lose myself; sport took a back seat and going to bed before 10 on a school night from work was a rarity.

Since coming over to London, I like to think of myself as a watering can, constantly watering my boxes and although it is hectic a lot of the time, this pursuit of happiness is no longer just that - a pursuit, it is how I feel each day; blissfully happy.

I have a hype girl who will actually drop everything to be there for me in a second, and seriously I couldn’t ask for a better best friend. People sometimes think we are ridic with the amount of time and love we give to  each other – but that doesn’t worry me, as like I have said before, being a good friend is a full time job, and finding these gems is such a rarity. Happy birthday by the way x.

Because I have started to see who I am more – the easier I have become at maintaining these boxes.

This blog has diverted away from anything truly creative this week, but I feel that even if a handful of you can understand and realise the importance of having balance, and maintaining these boxes, then happiness more than likely will become part of your life.

Lauryn Hill once said, ‘how you going win, if you ain’t right within.’ She’s right you know. Happiness is not in things – but rather, it is in us.. We just need a wee bit of guidance on how to get there…

I’m off to New York (with my Hype Girl of course), so hopefully I will have some stories/messages/gratitude for you next week.

Have a beautiful Easter x